


Boyz to Geese: a Tale of Loving and Stabbing

by storywriter8



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bastard Goose Loki, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Frigga is the Cool Mom, Gambling, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Hela is Good, Hela is Queen, Hela is the Big Sister, Insecurity, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Doesn't Know How to Handle Feelings, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki and Thor Are Not Siblings, Loki causes chaos, Loki is Queen, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, On Your Friend's Love Lives, Over Throwing Odin, Pining, Quote: Honk (Untitled Goose Game), Stabbing, Thor is Baby, Thor is Not King, Thor is a Hero, Weird Ways of Saying I Love You, genderqueer Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22412410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storywriter8/pseuds/storywriter8
Summary: Hela didn’t dethrone Odin to watch Thor cry and Loki run around as a goose. Stars help these boys and their stupid pining asses.Thor/Loki don't like don't read.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76





	Boyz to Geese: a Tale of Loving and Stabbing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KDRBear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDRBear/gifts).

> Another installment of the "I cant do much but I can write" for my friends having a hard time.
> 
> Thor/Loki don't like, don't read, don't yell at me in the comments.
> 
> I don't own anything Marvel related

“HEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!”

Hela smiled fondly and raised her eyes skyward as Thor's howl echoed up the stairs. 

The goddess of death and ruler of Asgard had been hiding from her duties at the top of a gilded tower with a good book. Reading was the latest of her hobbies and so far the longest lasting. Well, longest next to the whole war and conquest, but Odin had ruined that.

Hela’s smile curled into disgust for a moment as she thought about her father. She had followed him, through every war and happily guarded the peace they had won. That isn't to say she hadn’t been delighted to be back on Fenris and riding into Jotunheim, taking the battle to the frost giants who dared to challenge Asgard. 

Planning had never been Odin’s strong suit, but from a strategic standpoint, Hela had seen the advantage of taking the baby frost giant prince. Getting attached to it and nicknaming it LooLoo was Hela’s mistake, but could you really blame her? No one on Asgard had been able to resist his squishy little cheeks and darling laugh.

But the decision to raise Loki without knowledge of his heritage and to stand one step behind Thor, the forever rightful heir to the throne, forever? That was all on Odin and was what finally turned Hela against her father.

The battle had been bloody but short, the tide quickly turning when Frigga joined her daughter to protect her baby boys from the allfather's twisted lies. As the truth spread through the kingdom, soon all were turned against their king and banded together against the royal guard and finally stripped Odin of his power and banished him to Midgard.

But the fighting hadn't ended there as the galaxy fell into turmoil over the new queen of Aasgard. Eventually Hela had proven her ruling worth and settled down to enjoy the peace she had won.

The boys were walking and talking by the time she had returned, Hela and Frigga sitting them down that very day to tell them the truth. Thor had been confused, why did it matter if Loki was a frost giant? Loki stared up at them solemnly before dropping his Asgardian glamour and spending the day playing with Thor in the gardens like nothing was different at all.

Because nothing was. Hela was their sister, Frigga was their mother, they were the best of friends and nothing would tear them apart.

And Hela loved them for that. She loved helping Frigga teach Loki the power of magic, lies, the truth and knowing when to use them. She loved teaching Thor all she knew of fighting, honor and humility and watching him grow into a hero. 

Eventually Hela would pass the kingdom to the princes, Loki to rule it with Thor at his side as protector. If only she could get them to stop beating around the bushes and admit how head over heels in love with each other they were.

Summoning up a slim knife to use as a bookmark the goddess shifted to brace herself as Thor stumbled into the tower turret and flung all 6 foot and 3 inches of himself across her lap.

“Aren't you a little old to be running to me when you lose a fight?” Hela tutted, tapping a finger at a stab wound on Thor’s arm

“Not a fight,” Thor mumbled miserably as his big sister threaded her long fingers through the tangles of his long blond hair.

Smile turning slightly more smug, Hela leaned down to whisper conspiratorially in Thor’s ear. “Did Loki stab you again?” a nod. “Did you stab him back?” another nod.

Frowning, Hela straighten and flicked Thor's ear. “Then what's the problem!”

“He turned into a duck,” Thor said, even more miserable. “You said if he stabbed me to stab him back and he would know that I like him. You didn't say what would happen if he turned into a duck!”

“Damn it, Loki,” Hela said, rubbing at her forehead. Of course the trickster had turned into something stupid instead of facing his feelings for the thunder god. “We best see what trouble he has gotten into.”

Herding her brother down the stairs Hela’s peaceful afternoon fell completely apart as they emerged from the tower to a very loud sound.

“HONK!”

The small plaza at the base of the tower was a scene of chaos and at the very center of that chaos was a large green goose. The goose was honking at everyone and stealing anything it could get its beak into before dropping it to grab something new.

“That is not a very healthy reaction to a love confession dear,” Frigga called, ignoring the insanity and continuing her embroidery. 

The goose honked at her but didn't dare make a mess of it’s mother’s embroidery ribbons. Instead it leapt onto the edge of a fountain and ran around it honking wildly.

Hela stomped up and stood, hands on her hips as the goose ran around the fountain two more times before snapping her fingers. With a pop and a flash of green the goose turned back into Loki who promptly fell into the fountain. 

Loki reacted naturally to being forced back into humanity and shoved his head under the water to scream and hopefully drown himself. His no good, totally unhelpful sister didn't let him, of course, and instead dragged him out of the fountain to face Thor. 

The thunder god was shuffling his feet with tears clinging to his eyelashes.

Which was even more unfair because the very last thing Loki ever wanted to do was upset the pure-hearted blond. But what had Thor expected, stabbing him back like that? After all the years Loki had spent stabbing at his crush hoping that one day he might get stabbed back before finally accepting that it was never going to happen and settling into his destiny as the next queen of Asgard who didn’t need no man. 

He had stabbed Thor today purely for old times sake before the thunder god left on another long peace keeping mission with his new galaxy guarding friends, all of which were a little too attracted to Thor for Loki's liking. But this time, while Loki had been laughing about Thor falling for the old SnakeLoki trick, the blond had pulled the knife out of his shoulder, took Loki’s hand and stabbed straight through it. Loki had made a very undignified wheezing, sound as Thor looked at him with his big stupid hopeful puppy dog eyes, and turned himself into a goose by accident.

Thor had taken one look at the goose flapping about and honking and took off running and yelling for Hela. It had been too much for Loki, who had then turned away and started taking out his emotional turmoil out on all and sundry while Frigga simply shook her head and made sure that Loki didn't do any irreparable damage.

Loki pondered the viability of turning back into a problem avoidance goose as Hela pushed him to stand a few inches away from Thor.

“Figure it out, or I will stab both of you,” Hela grumbled and summoned two huge blades to pin the gods’ capes to the ground for good measures.

Neither god looked at each other for a while, eyes flickering from fascinating flower to intriguing clouds. Finally, Thor swallowed hard and spoke in a choked voice. “I did not intend to distress you so. Please forgive me, it will never happen again.”

Before he could turn and flea with the remains of his breaking heart, Loki's hand flashed out and jabbed a finger into his unarmored side. Thor frowned as Loki did this a second and third time, poking at his with his eyes cast sideways.

“I'm stabbing you,” Loki muttered out of the side of his mouth, blushing now under the bright blue eyes slowly filling with hope.

That big goofy grin split across Thor's face, dispelling the storm clouds of misery as he reached out to stab one of his own thick fingers into Loki's side. He poked up the trickier's sides, across his shoulders and settling to cup his face with two last pokes on each cheek.

“Are you going to stab my mouth?” Loki mumbled, blushing even harder at the ridiculousness of his own words.

Thor nodded slowly. “But I would very much like to look upon the real you for our first stabbing.”

Letting out sound similar to the one that heralded the arrival of the bastard green goose, Loki shivered and quivered with the emotions that Thor was giving him. Taking a moment to focus on the calloused hands holding him, grounding himself, Loki managed to not turn into another barnyard animal and instead dispelled his glamour.

The trickster god took great pride in both of his forms and while he refused to favor either, his frost giant self was a look he rarely treated the world too. Midnight blue skin covered in the traditional patterns of the frost giants and a few less traditional Asgardian tattoos spread slowly out as Loki's eyes turned crimson. His dark green finery faded away to fine golden chains and arm bands under a silk shall and long slitted skirt. He had let his hair grow long and it lay carefully braid over his shoulder and half way down his bare chest, decorated with more thin gold chains that wrapped around the bases of the slim horns the curled back from his temples.

From the very first day he had shown Thor his true form to the here and now, the thunder god looked upon the tiny frost giant with the same smile and wide eyes, but now Loki could see clearly. It was love.

Closing his eyes and trusting that the man he loved, and who loved him in return, would keep him safe, Loki learned forward to feel Thor’s lips upon his own. Be it magic or the whimsy of a love struck heart, Loki could only describe the kiss as electric, lighting up every fiber of his being and making him weak from the intensity. It lasted only a few moments but also a life time and as they opened their eyes the sounds of revelry finally registered. 

All around them the people of Asgard rejoiced that their princes had finally stop being pining fools. Frigga, Lady Sif and Brunhilda were standing on the fountain’s edge pounding the air and whooping. Hela was crushing a gasping Skurge to her chest and wiping tears from her eyes murmuring “they grow up so fast!” as the Warriors Three paid old bets and started placing new ones about the wedding themes and number of future royal children.

“Don't suppose you could turn us both into ducks so we could get out of all that?” Thor muttered, leaning his head against Loki’s 

Snorting, Loki gave his thunder god and scathing, but fond, glare. “No I can't, but if you wanted to be a bastard goose for the day, that is an entirely different story.”

**Author's Note:**

> Scathing but Fond is the title of Loki's autobiography


End file.
